Wearing Memories

At any moment, I am wearing multiple items that represent and help me remember my son.  They are small tokens that provide a concrete thing to aid in intentionally remembering him.  To most people, these items probably don’t scream that they are memorials for a baby gone far too soon, and that’s okay.  They are things that help me keep Brady with me throughout my day.

One of the first items I received after Brady passed away was a charm necklace from my best friend.  It included an infinity charm with “mom” across it and a custom heart charm with “Brady John” on the front and “our hero” on the back.  I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit that I didn’t even notice the “our hero” part until I’d been wearing it for a couple of months.  At first, I felt weird about wearing something with “mom”  proudly inscribed across it.  What if others judged me or didn’t think of me as a mom?  I got over that pretty fast, and I wear my necklace every day.

Within a couple of weeks, I added another charm to that necklace.  Our funeral home was able to take hand and foot prints that would allow us to order pendants with Brady’s actual prints on it. Brady’s big toes had always made us laugh, because they were so giant in comparison to his tiny size and they reminded us of my husband’s giant big toes.  Now his right foot print joins the heart charm and the infinity charm around my neck each day.

I also have a couple of beautiful bracelets given to me by friends.  The mantraband is even rose gold, to match my wedding set.  It amazes me how thoughtful people are.  For Mother’s Day, my mom gave me a delicate “mom” ring, with our birthstones on it.

I incorporate the color blue wherever I can, since blue has always made me think of Brady John.  Even before he was born, I would send texts with three blue hearts when sending an update on Brady.  His CaringBridge site was called “Blue Hearts for Brady”.  Blue is a way that I demonstrate the Brady love.  There’s the blue infinity scarf I wore to his funeral, and I recently added some blue suede flats to my wardrobe.  You wouldn’t think it, but those shoes are surprising versatile.  There’s a blue stone necklace that matches the heart-shaped stones I placed at Brady’s gravesite while I was on leave.  Wearing that necklace makes me feel connected to where he rests.

And finally, there’s the ultimate wearable.  I’ll be getting a tattoo in memory of my son.  It’ll be my first, and is a pretty big step for this fairly wholesome Midwesterner.  I have some ideas, but I want to make sure it’s perfect it before I take the plunge!  As my husband reminds me, it’ll be there forever.

I share all of this, not to talk about all the things I have, because it’s not about the things – it’s about what they represent.  Wearing the memory of my son is a way to keep his memory with me at all times.  I would love if you could also share how you keep your child’s memory with you in the comments.  How do you wear memories?

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