Dear Loss Mama, It Will Get Better

One of the big reasons I started Courageous Mothers was because, in deep grief, I needed someone to tell me it would get better, but I had a hard time finding something like that on the internet.

A lot of articles you’ll find that are written by bereaved mamas are pretty hard and sad. Obviously, the nature of the content dictates that they should be that way. We’re grieving, we’re mourning, we’re inconsolable. Pouring those feelings out onto paper (or a screen) feels like SOMEthing we can do in a situation where we otherwise have no control. It’s an outlet, and it feels right.

Many of the articles on my own blog (at least back at the beginning of it) are super hard to read. I know that I found solace in reading other bereaved moms’ ultra sad posts, and some moms have reached out to me, saying the same.

BUT.

The Comfort & Inspiration category on this website is here because I think it’s so, so necessary and needed. There are days where I would climb out of my grief hole briefly, and I needed to read things that had some flicker of optimism, and of hope.

I am here to tell you that it WILL get better. It will, it will, it will. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you will see some light out the top of your grief hole, and at some point, you’ll dig yourself out enough so that you’re partially in the sunlight.

You’ll smile. You’ll laugh, without feeling guilty. You’ll feel the sun on your face, and you’ll like it. The birds will sing songs of healing, and you will listen. The worst of your wounds will scab over.

You will feel good again.

Grief will always be there. A once deeply grievous person can never be un-grievous. You’ll carry your grief with you like a security blanket. Some days, something will trigger it and you’ll wrap that blanket tightly around yourself, creating a cocoon of grief.

After you’re out of the slog of your deepest grief, though, the warmth of that blanket will actually feel good. It’ll feel right.

Afterall, grief is really just love. You grieve deeply because you love more deeply than you ever thought imaginable.

It will get better. It really will. The deepest pains in your heart will lighten with time, opening it back up to let in happiness.

Until then and forevermore, let the whole community of beautiful, broken-hearted loss mamas support you with the kind of understanding you can’t find anywhere else. Lean on us. Lean on me.

It will get better.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Teressa says:

    I lost my baby boy 16 months ago and I fight the battle everyday to keep going, to try and find a purpose for my life and my 3 living boys and husband. I blame myself everyday and ask why, my baby he was born healthy, the doctors and nurses messed up and because I trusted them my child is no longer in my arms. The guilt, shame, anger is overwhelming some days and I use to go to church and told my boys God is good, but when something like this happens in your life and you feel like God left you and turned his back on me, I am angry at Him and ask WHY all the time.
    Thank you for sharing your story and creating this blog and saying that we will find happiness again I just keep wondering when, bc I’m trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but most days I’m failing my boys and husband bc one of my children I kept safe and healthy doesn’t get to grow with his brothers.

    Like

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